Showing posts with label progressive insurance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label progressive insurance. Show all posts

Monday, November 2, 2009

Halloween Costumes You Can Make Cheap at Home: Outfits that Won't Make Your Wallet Scream

progressive insurance girl

With the economy still tanking for most people, buying Halloween costumes for this year's trick-or-treating is out of the question, so making costumes on the cheap (at at home) are in demand. Many are turning to the internet to find ideas for cheap Halloween costumes and there are plenty of websites to accommodate the need. And not only are the Halloween costumes cheap to make, but most of the costumes are extremely simple to construct as well, which means you can make them yourself at home.

The easiest costume for guys is dressing like a girl, clothing optional, depending how the mom or sister feels about someone wearing their clothes. But you don't need the clothes. Just make-up. Some mascara, eye-liner, rouge, and lipstick -- and voila! -- you are a girl, a pretty boy, a drag queen, or an 80s hair band singer.

At Ask Coupon Sherpa, there is a list of 50 cheap Halloween costume ideas on their blog, complete with instructions on the necessary items for constructing the outfit. The very first one is recognizable Progressive Insurance Flo, that annoying woman in white in the television commercial ads. All that is required for her costume is a white shirt, white apron, name tag and a headband. Be sure to offer the head of the household a good discount on their insurance premium when they drop that Reese's cup into your candy bag.

There is also the Bernie Madoff costume, where you where a business suit (get it at a Goodwill or borrow dad's) and stuff your pockets with fake cash.

Little Red Riding Hood only requires lots of red, but most importantly a red cap and hood. As noted by Coupon Sherpa, this can be innocent or sexy.

The cheap and punny make-it-at-home approach: A cereal killer Halloween costume demands only a couple of boxes of cereal attached to one's clothing with knives jutting from them. One could go as the famous rapper 50 Cent by simply taping a couple of quarters to one's shirt. And you could become a Buccaneer by attaching a dollar to each ear (get it?: buck-an-ear).

Michael Jackson, which is the favorite celebrity costume this year according to the National Retail Federation, is also cheap and easy to make, and Ask Coupon Sherpa has the necessary items list to make it and 43 other cheap costumes for Halloween, including several more pun-inspired ones.

Over at the Suddenly Frugal Blog, Leah Ingram outlines three cheap costumes for small children, including a bunch of grapes, Tiger Lily (from "Peter Pan"), and a bathing baby (which requires a wagon decorated in white tissue to simulate a bath tub).

Bliss Tree has a list of ten simple and cheap Halloween costume ideas. There's the traditional ghost costume, along with ideas on how to dress as an alien, a pea in a pod, and a dog, cat, or mouse. This site has a cheap princess costume. Princesses topped the National Retail Federation's list of Halloween costumes for children for the fifth straight year. Vampires of all kinds topped the overall list.

One particularly inventive idea comes from Andy Comer at The Monitor, who suggests men wrapping themselves in ribbon with a bow and attaching a big card that says, "From God." That makes them god's gift to women.

And those are just a few cheap Halloween costumes found on the web in less than five minutes of searching. Many lists will include the same types of costumes or variations on the same themes. And if you need gore for your costume this year, Ask Coupon Sherpa also has recipes for making fake blood and fake wounds for price that won't kill you.

Friday, September 25, 2009

I’m in Love with the Progressive Insurance Girl

progressive insurance girl

I’m in love.

It hit me recently one morning upon waking up in a state of incapacitating nausea and metaphysical confusion. At first I thought I must be pregnant, but quickly realized that this was not likely since I’m a dude, besides which I always wear protection. For the rest of the day I felt unsettled and struggled to find my bearings (having lost them the night before when I got embarrassingly drunk and decided to dress up as Captain Queeg at a cocktail party that my analyst threw for his pet lemur Cornelius). Sprawled forlornly on my mattress and staring up at the cracks in my ceiling I suddenly understood what was causing my distress - l’amour!

You see, lately I’ve become obsessed with a famous TV celebrity, and I just can’t get her off my mind. Usually I’m not one to develop mad crushes on unattainable figures, preferring to set my sights on more achievable targets such as the blind, mentally unstable, and comatose, however, this major star is one hot tamale that I just don’t have the wherewithal to ignore - Flo the Progressive Insurance Girl.

There’s just something about the chewiness of her gestalt that sets my heart aflame. I want to read Sendak to her, bite her nose, and have her sell me unlimited motorcycle coverage. Of course, I don’t actually own a motorcycle, preferring the safety of my beloved tricycle but hell, why mess with the fantasy? I can’t quite express why I’ve fallen so hard for Flo. Perhaps it’s how she’s so exquisitely irritating, or maybe it’s all that damnable pep of hers.

Whatever the reason, I’ve fallen and fallen hard.

Realistically, I know that we can never be together. She’s a big time television star and I’m just a wormy little creep, yet I can’t help but hold out the slightest flicker of hope in my heart that one day we might meet and fall in love. Still, I understand our getting involved is mere fantasy.

If we did meet, however, I truly hope peanut butter would be involved.

Sigh… Flo is such a unique beauty. I so love her sexy banged hairdo and stylish headband keeping that semi-flaccid beehive of hers so immaculately in place. I adore her thick neck and divine countenance, perpetually fixed with an expression most closely resembling an over-caffeinated nun.

Mostly, I just love her…for her.

All the cavemen, geckos and piles of cash with googly eyeballs can’t hold a candle to my beloved Flo. As I watch her shuck her wares with such jaunty perfection, I just can’t help but wonder what she’d look like dressed up as a pirate. Still, I wonder that about most people. Oh woe is me! I’m destined to be alone and tormented by my unquenchable ardor. I’ve already sent her countless e-mails expressing my undying devotion, but it’s all to no avail - she never responds. I suppose she’s too busy being a fancy shmancy celebrity to waste her time answering silly fanboy letters from wormy little creeps like me.

I wonder who makes love to her late at night. I’ll bet it’s one of those cavemen. Those smarmy little bastards, they think they’re so hot with their protruding foreheads and fancy clothes. Hairy douchebags! I’m glad their television series bombed so spectacularly.

FLO!!!!

I’ve got to pull myself together; I’m seriously starting to lose it. It’s just not going to happen for us. I need to find another object of affection, someone more attainable. Hmmm…I wonder what Madge from those old Palmolive commercials looks like dressed up as a pirate, she’s gotta be like ninety by now, you know she’d probably be the grateful type!